Dir Proody,
I am a kitteh. I luv to talk to mah mommicat! We talks abowt everything! So I wanna get a jackrabbit. No, not as prey, as goodtime jiggly wiggly toy!
I tell mah mommicat dis, ryght? I needz her help in figgerin' out the ins and outs of usin dis thing, ryght?
Kitteh wants to hump, but not a boicat with a prickly pecker
Dir hump,
Teh centers of ur womanly pleshure are not that hard to find. Particularly with a jackrabbit. Mommicat and u may laik to overshare, but mebbeh u need to start keeping some things from her, for both ur saykes.
Dir Proody,
I get married soon and I wantz the kittehs! Mah boifren, he may or may not have nootikuls, he is not so shur. In theory, dis no bother me becuz I want mebbeh adopt kitteh or try a sperm bank (i.e. go to the alley). But in reality, I be telling heem, "U go to doctor! U tell me if u be havin' the nootikuls!" He say I iz crazy! Iz I crazy?
All Ball, all the time
Dir All Ball,
Chill the hell owt. Dis sort of scenario is eggzacktly why we haz the catnip. U want spend life with boifren? Do that.
Dir Proody,
I basically tryed to kill mah daddicat's second wifycat and bebbeh when I wuz a kitteh. I am getting married now and am not a psychokitteh anymore. Hao I get heem to pay fur mah wedding nao? Or just furgive me?
I seen the lyght
Dir Lyght,
U let them stay as far from u as they need to until u are proven to be a gud kitteh and not a bad kitteh. Mebbeh they come see u if u let urself get wrapped in a naice thick towel?
Dir Proody,
I wurk with a man who hayte me. He be leavin' his sox all in the litterbox and maykin' comments. I iz awesum wurker, but mah boss, he no do nothing! Whut I do?
Reddy to pop
Dir Reddy,
U pee on his sox. Spray his desk, too. Mebbeh u come up all silent behind him laik ninja and breathe a little on heem and he turn around and u go, "HISSS" wif all ur teef showing, mayk heem poop his wurkspace.
Or u kill ur boss and get hiz job and then u fire the sox-wearer fur his unspeakabul krime.
I can haz hawt gren spac gurlz in orang undees?
ReplyDelete"Wrapped in a nice thick towel?"
ReplyDelete<3 this!
How wuz I not folowin dis be4?
ReplyDeleteBikur kitteh gurl luvs Proody LOLcats.
ReplyDeleteWez all needz goodtyme jiggle wiggly toy!
Yay, goodtyme jiggle wiggly toy!
ReplyDeleteLuv LOLcatz!
I did it again.
ReplyDeletehttp://cheezburger.com/View.aspx?aid=2831467520
LOLcats are hard to resist. I wanted to put "goodtime jiggly wiggly toy" in there but it was too long!
woof woof!
ReplyDeleteNeuticals... lol.
ReplyDeleteAnd peeing on the socks. Good even for the original LW.