Friday, November 27, 2009

From My LOLcats

Dir Proody,

I iz in heet! But mai boifren, he no want to mate wif me no moar. He say Ceiling Cat watchin' us, tell him to stop mating wif me. But I WANT.

Whut I do nao?

-- Hot poosy

Dir Hot,

U fynd a new boifren, wun who not listen to alleged cats in ceiling.

Dir Proody,

I wurk wif a byooteeful leddicat! She yung and sweet as Fancy Feast. But she snort laik a Pug when she nervuss, which is a lotta teh tyme. Hao I tell her to stop sounding laik dawg?

-- Ticks R Bad

Dir Ticks,

U shaym her. Tell her, "U sound laik Pug! U shut up nao!" She will be too nervuss to ever speek again.

Dir Proody,

Mai daddicat he so sad! Lose his job becuz his boss eevil! EEVIL! Kreechur sent from Basement Cat fur shure! Daddicat absolootlee, positivelee had to qwit his job. Nao he pore. Pore, pore daddicat, alwais sufferin' frum the eevils of other cats.

So he ritin' a resume nao, an he sai he want me pretend to be hiz old boss. This not sound so good. But I am good kitteh. I do this for heem?

-- Good Kitteh

Dir Kitteh,

Okai, furst thing I think is, hao callz u miss not be immeedeeatly notissed as not boss's number when ur voicemail kikz in? Or duz ur daddicat think having Mr. Cat Jr. as a past boss will fly? Whut kynd of dumb sitcom iz this??? R U cat, or r u peepul?

Daddicat shud have Thunderdome-style match wif all other appli-cats fur the job. If he come owt alive and triumfant, he get job.

Hao u think I gots to be Proody?

Dir Proody,

Mai naybors, they be fighting all the time! Screaming, yowling and crashing of things coming through walls at all hours of teh nite! Also, they haz a kitteh!

If I call coppicats, will the mean tomcat next door hurt us?

-- Scaredy cat

Dir Scaredy,

Call teh coppicats. I kno, I kno, we are cat, we fight. But family cats shud get along! (see here, starting on bottom of p 95) Coppicats be coming wif ther spraybottles, mayking heem behave, and that a gud thing.


  1. Uh oh, don't look now, but LOLcats has some competition! Just for you, my dove:

  2. Always a good read, Prudie Cat. :-) Thank you!

  3. Mermie, that is nuts. I clicked, I LOL'd, I felt really bad for all four critters in the photo.

  4. I like this Thunderdome-style match concept. Ordinarily I'm nonviolent and I run from conflict, but it's been so long since I went to an interview that I just might rather duke it out than polish up my resume and insert myself into a suit and pretend like I have a clue as to what I might want to be doing professionally five years down the road. I'll bet Daddicat feels the same way.

    And truly, it is beneath the dignity of any cat to participate in the kind of farce this phoney phone identity game entails.

    Thanks for the LOLs!