Mah boifren haz a family, and they taykes a Christmas pitchur every year. This year, they sai, "U GET IN TEH PITCHUR." I am laik, not in teh family an I won't haz ther last naymez and in their pitchur I DO NOT WANT. So filled with angur an teh RAYG!
Whut I do nao?
Did u kno that unfotogenic meanz the camera, it duz not laik u? Did u kno ur boifren's family, u du not laik them? Becuz they are about to kno it. And mebbeh they not laik u so much when they lirn. And if boifren still poses for pitchurs, he mebbeh syde wif hiz family. Just sayin'.
I marry Mr. Rite! But I was in hiz computer, findin' pron. Of his stepdaughter from a preveyuss leddicat!!1!11! He say it okay, he taykin' secksy pitchurs for her wedding dai! I say, but teh wuns where she nekkid? He say it okay, too, she never taik her clothes off, he do that in teh Photoshop.
Everything is totally kewl nao, rite?
Mrs. Rite need aid
Dir Mrs Rite.
Look, I kno we non-purebred cats can haz some trashy family entaingullments (literallee! We maytin' by the trashcans in teh alley!), but dis wun here, dis weerd. Cats shud not be photoshoppin' owt clothes. We shud be photoshoppin' in invisibul sandwiches.
I kno a tomcat who is lookin' fur a dayt. I wantz it! He haz a cancer, though, and I kno he gonna die becuz I work where he get a treatment. But I lovez him! And love, he wantz it becuz he is on Tomcat.com (ed note: not a real site as far as I know, but I'm not checking it out!) juss laik me!
I can haz date with Pet Sematary?
Leddicat, u du whut u want, but mebbeh u consider why you want heem so bad when u kno terminal cat is terminal?
Mah boifren and I want to haz family over for Turkee Day. Hiz parents be meetin mai parents, lotsa laffs and gud fud. But hiz dad invyte Uncle Krazee (dis iz heem). He be seein' invisibul federalees, invisibul illegul aleeyens, invisibul black helikopterz and visibul black prezident. All of which skare him so he carry big gun in case he get oppurtoonitee to shoot something he think attack him. Haoever, I think mebbeh he think we attack him by tooning owt him being a wacko, or konfrunting his delooshuns, or even jus bai being neer him. I no laik guns, hao I get him not to come?
There iz no shame in being gunshy. I myself prefer ninja-style slotter. It ur rite to not haz guns around, but it naice thing to let crazy cat come around family wunce a year. Daddicat haz eye to keep on brothercat, so mebbeh you move big fancy meet-n-greet dinner to non-holiday weekend for ackchooal meeting. Dis wun, it iz a Mulligan.
Pee Ess: Sorry ur family will be learnin' ur boifren haz a crazee uncle. U mebbeh got a crazee relative u can invyte to balance everything owt?