Wednesday, December 9, 2009

From My LOLcats

Dir Proody,

Me an mai hubbicat be rich! We haz cheezburger, I be washin mai bras even when I not wear them, and we haz naice litterbox for which we haz a maid. But our frens, they iz poor! Mai hubbicat tell them we pay them to kleen litterbox, but I sez no, this is krazy talk! Frens do not kleen litterboxes for frens! Too much informashun! Hao I maik them not see mai poop?

Mai shizz, it akshually do stink, but I don't want frens to kno!

Dir Shizz,

If ur frens are cat, tell them they don't need money anywai, all they need is nachural-born witz. If ur frens r hyooman, wai u frens with them? They are SPOSED to be kleenin' ur litterbox. If ur frens are dawgs, they will probally eet ur poo and not change the litter. Just a warning.

Dir Proody,

Mai fren be takin' lunches owt the company fridge. Whut I do nao?

Komfuzzled

Dir Komfuzzled,

It not wrong for a cat to taik what cat want. It wrong to get caught! I recommend ninjas.

Dir Proody,

Aftur mai cowurkers use the litterbox they no lick their butt. Hao I put up with such nastiness?

Butt-slurper

Dir Butt,

Sadly, u can no maik anybody lickz their butts, and u can no lickz their butts for them or u be actin laik a dawg. I recommend bringing in a profeshunnel groomer to the office to catstigayte and shave the non-lickerz.

Dir Proody,

Mai brother, he has a schizo. I think this one tyme he kill a hitchhiker we picked up. He in group cat house nao, gettin drugs. I ask heem about this cat and whut he do to heem?

I iz faykin it


Dear Faykin,

I knos u r parrot from kompleat lakz of imaginayshun. I knos u watch a lot of "Dyagnosis Murdur" with ur old ladee keeper from ur sad sorry cage. U kan't plai a plaier, and I am ultimit CAT PLAIER.

Also, ur ISP, I haz it. I haz dispatched invizibul ninja cats to kill u, u fayk LW. I will be eetin ur wings tonite, fried, in a little cheese sauce.

U be watchin' ur back, but itz too layt for u!

5 comments:

  1. Mmmmm--wings in cheez sauce!You can has!

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  2. cheezburgers and ninjas. It gets no better than this! :-)

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  3. U kan't plai a plaier

    Tru dat, Spacer.

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  4. I always enjoy the LOLCats but Space Cadet, you OUTDID yourself. Particularly loved your response to LW 1 and the approaches different species of friends would take. The generous reference to and application of ninjas was especially excellent.

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  5. And LOLcat speak is harder than it looks! I'm trying to write some for my holiday cards and it's much harder than I thought it would be! Thanks for your inspiration SpaceCadet - I'm using your columns as reference! :-)

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