From My LOLcats

Proody cat think she may owe u guyz sum moar LOLcat fun frum the past. Proody cat will get rite on it when she feel gud and reddy, 'kay?

Dir Proody,

Mai sister, I buy her gifts! She come visit all teh wai frum teh country! We haz amazing Catmas! But nao she sai she want me tu send her gifs to her by teh mailman so she no haz to carry them in her carrier. I think, 'Christ on a cracker, u du this urself!' Am I bad for that?

Big sistercat

Sistercat,

No. U r not.

Dir Proody,

I iz in luv! We dayt sereeuss for a month nao! But she get a gif from a tomcat who I know is married! She sai, 'Oh, it okay, he gif lot of munnay to church.' But I sai, 'U no church, u gif those gifs to poor kittehs!' But she be wearin' the fancy catspray he gifs her teh next week! Whut I do nao?

Whut with this church talk?

Dir Churchtalk,

I do not understand how the church is relevant to ur interests here. But please explain, why u so toar up about those gifs? They are not the ones boinking ur girlycat. That would be Mr. Churchypants. I suggest u either ask girlycat to be ur wun an ownly but for reelzies, or u find a girlycat u not be telling to gif away catspray becuz she mayk u so jealous.

Dir Proody,

I be marryin' a wunnerful girlycat! But her aunt and uncle, they no be likin' public healthcare so much they send a tackee Christmas card saying "We No Like Public Healthcare." Nao I never want to talk to them. That so bad?

They're opinionated

Dear Opinionated,

Be that as it may, u realize they is being jackasses. Why u be jackass 2? Don't u got jackass cats in ur family? U may only ignore girlycat's jackass relatives if u kill ur own, just so there not be a dubble standard.

Merry Catsmas everybody! Don't eat the poinsettias! They can be toxic!